


Pure

by szarabasjka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M, meme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 13:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szarabasjka/pseuds/szarabasjka
Summary: fill for thisPrompt





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Since LJ is changing I'm moving stuff; this one is the first of many fills that will be posted here.
> 
> I have no beta so most of them are not in their best form, please be kind.

***  
1

“Dee? Why you don’t have an angel?”

It was weird for him too “I do have one Sammy… is not like yours” and pointed to the chubby smiley idiot sitting next to his baby brother pillow “but is ever better, mine is special and he really knows how to do his job” and getting close to Sammy’s ear whispered “you’re my angel” Sammy giggled at 6 it was adorable, and the kid didn’t ask any other question.

But it is weird, everybody has an angel since the moment they are baptized, and both John and Mary prayed hard for Dean to have a great angel, a special angel, maybe one of those who sing or those with little swords, but nothing, the days passed and Mary got really sad , his baby, his perfect boy had no angel; “It doesn’t matter Dee, you’re an angel, you’re special, that’s why you don’t have one of those little idiots flying around you telling you what to do” Mary’s own Seraph frowned at her, offended, yes Seraph, because she was special, so was John even if he only has a quite chubby cherub himself, just like Sammy’s

“So…” it was Justin, big, and stupid Justin “is it true that you’re such a freak not even angels want to be next to you?” his goons laughed and his angel, another pretty rosy cheeked floating idiot frowned sad to the boy who ignored him “I mean… everyone has an angel, everyone!! Even me…” Dean ignored him, Dad said he should avoid fights, he was done with the fights and teachers calling him to talk about Dean’s lack of angel and manners “someone said that you don’t have an angel because you killed your mom…” 

Dad had to rush to the principal office after that to pick up a sobbing Dean “Dammit Dean… we’ve gone through this already…” said without any patient left  
“But… they said…” and sobbed again covering his tears clouded eyes, the principal sat next to the boy and offered him a tissue “they said it was my fault… mom…” and John huffed tired

“Sir” the lady rubbed clumsy hands on Dean’s shoulder while her all grown up peaceful looking cherub was blinking absurdly large blue eyes to Dean with a heartbroken expression, he looked into his charge’s eyes and the lady nodded and the cherub hugged Dean causing even more tears and sobs. “I’m sorry, but we have to talk about this, I know you moved recently and we were informed about the… uh, your son’s special circumstance…” the blue eyed cherub was holding Dean against his chest “but you must understand we need information…” and lowering her tone “is there something we should know? Is he a risk for any other student?” 

John faced the lady in full hunter’s mode “My son is a legacy, our family is one of the original Men of Letter Knights” and looking at Dean “My wife was from a Hunter’s, old Hunters family too… I just… we don’t know, it’s just… the angel never came…” Dad’s cherub fixed him with a killer’s look and moved to comfort Dean too, it was rare for angels to acknowledge each other but in this case both little guys caressed Dean Head and at some point both smiled in awe.

Dean only cared for Sammy’s opinion after all, at least that’s what he pretends, not even Dad telling him to suck it up and face the fact that not everyone has an angel is important to him, because is true not everyone has an angel, there are those who’s angels left because their souls are too corrupted, those who are guilty of such crimes that angels die next to them because an angel who’s spoiled by violence and horror cannot survive, those who’s souls would not need someone carrying them back to heaven. Those, who’s last second were surrounded by the howls of the hellhounds instead of the choir of cherubs.

“NO, don’t’ get close….” A mother pushed her daughter to the street in order to not walk past Dean.

Large brown eyes searched his face “where’s his angel?”

“H seems like he never had one, look at how dark he is…” some people, from old families could see the light of the angel’s grace on their charges, and Dean didn’t had one, he casted his eyes down and sighed, something called his attention, the guardians from both mother and daughter smiled at him and waved at him “come on guys move you three…” and the lady herded all of them in front. Dean felt like the angels looked at him funny maybe because he was alone, it was like being constantly harassed by the heretic Jehovah Witnesses, those who ignored their angels and believed it was not our place to have one. He smiled tightly to the angels and kept walking.

Every year on his birthday Dad bought him stuff, guns mostly, books, clothes, but what he wished in every single candle, in every single falling star (legends said those were angels falling to take care of newborn babies until summoned to share their lives in baptism) was to finally be normal, to have an angel, he didn’t even mind if is one of those really small ones, that pretty much sat on your shoulder and clutch your ear so they don’t fall and whisper things to you day and night. Dean turned the corner to find his 10 years old baby brother landing on his ass, too short and too soft Sammy was fighting again “HEY!!” Dean shouted and ran to the boys.

“Here’s the freak… tell us, did you killed someone? Did you rape a kid? What? Why you don’t have an angel?”

Dean moved to the boys surrounding his brother “no, not yet in any case, unless you hurt my brother, then... I’ll kill you all” he moved smoothly and without much warning punched the bully in the face, someone from behind them shouted, Dean was in great trouble, it always happened, he only wanted to defend his baby brother and ended up in jail, in risk to be sent to a juvie just because how could you punish a guy with a guardian angel while one without any kind of protection was there?

“This is it,” Dad said “enough is enough, can’t you behave? Is it that hard to help me out here? I know we don’t have an average life, Dean, but being legacy is about being helpful to others, to saving people, hunting things, that’s the family business and we don’t have time for your tantrums just because you don’t have a stupid angel…” and he was left there, for a whole weekend, in a cell with two giant guys, both looked at him with lust and something else, fear?

He was scared, hungry and cold by the time the juvie officer arrived and carried him to the place; “here we are… your new place, little fucker, who knows what kind of monster you are…” said the man before leaving him alone in a room, he was stripped naked, and given only underwear before carrying him around showing him off to the rest of the boys, a sign on his chest “Pure Evil” written on it.

It was the first time he spent time with others without angel, separated from the normal ones, he was the smallest, youngest and thanks to Dad, the better trained, but still he saw how the older boys abused his pairs, he got in trouble a million times for defending them and at the end of his three month stay, even the guards thought he was weird, the one angel less boy with a conscience and with good manners, was he faking it?

Dean left the center alone, Dad didn’t pick him up and Sammy wrote him a letter few weeks earlier, he was with Pastor Jim. So a slowly walking boy with no angel in sight, under the rain and sporting nothing more than one of those juvie jumpers walked into town.

Some people thought that those without angels were demon vessels, and were both repulsed and scared, that’s why nobody wanted to be around them. In this case; Doors closed, windows were covered and one guy threatened to forcibly remove Dean from his diner if he so much dared to pass the threshold.

Sitting outside on the sidewalk Dean started crying, he did nothing, his only crime was to be too much of a freak to have an angel, maybe they were right, and maybe he was actually Pure Evil, his stomach growled and he decided things, okay, So Dad thought he wasn’t good? He’ll be his own person; he got up and started walking away, the last 30 bucks he had he spent them in a bottle of cheap scotch and candy bars in the only store that let him in, and walked aimlessly around the town ignoring the rain that by now soaked his clothes “I guess I’m just evil…” and sobbed “I guess is not a big loss”

He climbed the bridge ledge around midnight, not even sure what happened, it was dark and he was too drunk, it was not the first time he tried something like that, but this time Sammy wasn’t around to give him a reason to stop.

***  
2  
The rush on the ER was insane, people thought the boy had no chance to be saved, after all his angel had left him already “come on…” said the tall serious doctor, looking into the resident’s eyes “once more, last try, CLEAR!!” the resident and the two nurses backed away, the electricity charge ran on the young body and deep inside Dean felt light blooming, and the numb sensation changed into cold and finally he could hear sounds 

“Come on, come on hottie, you can do it…” Dean’s eyes opened slowly, but the girl was not looking at him, her eyes were roaming around desperate “where’s your angel?” and rubbed his hand “please, bring your angel back…” her own full sized cherub is sitting next to her; his big grey eyes fix on Dean’s face, his pretty pink lips opened in a surprised O, another of those idiots thinking he’s so interesting to look at. 

Dean tried to get his hand free and she gasped surprised “Dr Antonio!! He’s awake!” the resident entered the room and the nurse let the sponge she was using to give him a bath fell from her hand.

“Hello Dean… can you hear me?” the boy nodded but couldn’t use his voice or even close his mouth “is okay, calm down… calm down!” she repeated when he tried to sit “you were found on a river, apparently your first time drinking went wrong…” her eyes were on his, a different meaning on them –did you tried to kill yourself? - written in them “we found your Dad’s info in your wallet; he’s coming with your brother from Kansas…” Dean groaned and closed his eyes “kid… I’m afraid you’re not fully okay yet… there’s no trace of your angel, and…” tears ran down the corners of his eyes “… Dean? Is there a reason…? You do have an angel right?”  
Dean couldn’t answer.

“I found you” Dean eyes snapped open and he turned to the guy, deep blue eyes, in a pleasant face, pink lips, in a smile, “I found you… are you okay Dean Winchester? I’m sorry it took me so long, I’m sorry…” the guy moved closer and hugged Dean. For a couple second he was grateful, maybe he did fell accidentally, he’ll never accept what happened, he’ll never accept how easy it looked, how easy was to let go, to end things. So he moved a little and hugged the guy back with a soft thank you, thanks God this guy found him and didn’t cared Dean had no guardian angel.

Sammy climbed in bed with him the second he passed the door, he was taller, and looked healthier than when Dean was with him, apparently even Sam was better off if him, his little brother sobbed and hugged him, “Where were you? I’m your angel Dean, remember? I’m supposed to take care of you” and sobbed while Dad cleaned his eyes quietly behind them. 

Dean patted his baby brother’s back and tried to sound casual “I was… you know” and winking “taking care of things?” Sam didn’t let him go for a couple minutes before sitting next to him, his stupid looking cherub precariously sitting at the edge of the bed.  
“Dad…” Dean looked into his father’s eyes

John Winchester had that pissed off look he has on his face every time he think he’s disappointed you, he has that face because he has no idea how to say is not your fault, he has no idea how to say *I messed up* so he’s angry at himself and anybody else around “Dean… ” he said dry “tell me you weren’t drunk and sitting on a bridge by choice” Dean casted his eyes down “Damn IT!!!” both boys shivered at the dark tone before feeling Dad’s arms around them “you stupid, stupid boy… what were you thinking?” and kissed Dean’s hair. “Is just an angel, okay? One stupid angel, I know you’re special, I know there’s no reason to believe you’re bad”  
And Dean started crying. “But this is over, I don’t care if you have one or not, I’m not taking any more of this crap, okay?” Dean nodded from the warm cocoon of his father’s arms.

The fell jammed his leg badly and he needed two surgeries and lots and lots of physical therapy, and people in the hospital started treating him like everybody else, nurses never entered his room alone and security guards wandered around more often than in any other ward, other patients used to sneak around to get a look of the boy without an angel, and it kept happening even if Sam started telling people to fuck off, and Dad started asking Chubbs –Dean’s nickname to Dad’s cherub- to stay with him at times.

“I bet he’ll go back to death row or something…” mumbled a boy close enough to be heard, “he has no angel; he might not have a soul to take care of…”

“Why people think there’s only bad reasons not to have an angel?” Dean’s head snapped to the side so fast he felt dizzy and his legs failed him, and the guy, same slightly older guy held his arm “I’ve met you before right?” Dean asked, just to feel how big ocean blue eyes prodded into his, and shook no “trust me I know what I’m talking about…” the blue eyed one smiled and Dean felt a different weakness in his knees. The therapist came back babbling nonstop about straining muscles and so. The guy never really got close to Dean; he as everybody else was nervous around him and even feared him, just ordered someone else and the blue eyed guy what to do and left.

The roof was empty and quiet, it was the perfect place for Dean when he wanted to get away from everyone, and once he could use crutches he took the elevator and disappeared there for hours.

It was raining that afternoon and the flimsy material of his PJ was not enough to stop the cold, and he was shivering already, the only reason to stay there was the fact that no one was whispering his name here “Hey…” the blue eyed guy was sitting there holding a thick wool jacket pretty much like the one he was wearing “you look cold, want to take this borrowed?” 

Dean smiled and took the jacket and moved away, the guy didn’t hover, didn’t asked things and strangely he was very peaceful, and that’s a rare word to use; to be with, this time he just turned at Dean and smiled, and something inside Dean Winchester fluttered again, the guy moved and asked him to sit next to him and they spend a couple second looking into each other’s eyes, Dean’s heart was doing some sort of weird drum roll, the guy sighed and bit his lips before trying to speak “I’m so glad I found you, finally” 

Maybe because he wasn’t used to someone being nice to him, maybe because the guy had this weird adoring look when he looked at Dean, but he felt like it was the best thing ever!!

“You’re not scared of me?” asked timid and avoiding eye contact.

“NO” blue eyes answered vehement “I’m actually very happy to be with you, to be finally with you” Dean leaned forward, wanting his first kiss, maybe this quiet stranger liked him, maybe this will be like one of those stupid movies, and he’d find the love of his life, maybe this guy was his own Clarence, Dean closed his eyes and parted his lips but the boy moved away, cleared his throat and frowned, leaving Dean sitting there, feeling awkward and lost, embarrassed and stupid, Dean wanted to die, yeah no chance this guy would like him...

Blue eyes rubbed his neck and… was he blushing...? Smiled again “I’m glad I found you… ” he said and helped Dean with the coat before leaning fast and kissing Dean in the lips “Is that what you wanted?” Dean blushed and nodded before his new friend disappeared.

After that they started meeting on the roof top every afternoon, they never said anything, Dean thought he was hospital staff, maybe a nurse or a technician of some kind, maybe a med student, maybe they could be together and he’ll be a hunter, and whenever he gets hurt his boyfriend, his… whatever his name is… he’ll help him out, he’ll patch him up, and Dad won’t mind is a man, he’ll patch them up, and be another Winchester… Dean will no longer be alone. 

They talked every day, about a million things, once they started talking about Dean’s childhood, the guy listened to his stories of how mom used to make him cherry pie, how she used to have her seraph carry Dean on his arms while he flew around the room, how protective the angel was with him and with Sammy. “Mom… she said I was her angel too, that I had no reason to be sad, that I might not have an angel because I was one…” sighed hiding his eyes “I was young and stupid and I believed her, for as long as I could… maybe it was a thing of our family, maybe Sammy wouldn’t had one either, but then…”

“I’m sorry you were left alone and thinking you didn’t deserve an angel” blue eyes hugged Dean “I wish I could’ve been there, to look after you” warm hands caressing his back and touching him like nobody ever did, with the same warm and feeling of rightness he had only when mom was alive, that brought tears to his eyes.

I hope you don’t understand how it feels, to be that alone, to crave the touch of another human being like flowers crave for sunlight, like prisoners crave freedom, the painful oppression on your chest, the weight of not having someone with you, a weight your family can’t lift, a void in the soul, cold and endless, but Dean does, he felt that since mom left, since that demon entered Sammy’s nursery and killed her, because they’re men of letters knights, they’re legacy, the empty dark place inside of his heart, Sammy doesn’t feel it as bad as Dean because his cherub is always there, hugging and kissing Sam, always helping him with the things Dean had to do by himself, Sam and Dad had their angels and Dean was alone, but no more, now he has this guy.

“Thank you” whispered Dean while blue eyes moved to see into his eyes, deep blue eyes so powerful, so calm, and without warning the guy closed the distance and kissed Dean again.

His heart thumping in his chest, legs weak, dick throbbing, while his hand traveled to hold blue eyes’ hair, Dean couldn’t believe he finally had someone. 

They broke apart because Dean needed to breathe, “… I... don’t know your name…” he said in a breathless sound, it was humiliating, but the guy didn’t make fun, the guy smiled shy “… Castiel… I’m Castiel”

“Cas…” Dean tested before biting his lip and smiling again, he moved even closer to his boyfriend, let the older guy wrap him on his jacket, sometimes when he’s like that, burrowed in his boyfriend arms after physical therapy, tired and sore, done with the pain of his slow recovery he feels like he’s surrounded by feathers, as if he were floating in his mom’s angel’s arms again, in those wide firm wings.

“I’ll be gone for a couple days” Castiel said one afternoon, “I have a report to make… and… I’ll be around I promise, I won’t leave you ever again” and kissed Dean’s temple, the younger man couldn’t care less, had his eyes closed and his arms around Cas torso, face hidden in his neck and just mumbled an okay, even if he started panicking right there, what if he never comes back? What if he’s left alone again? “I’ll come back Dean Winchester, I will… on my life, I’ll be back”. That’s the last Dean remembers, apparently his boyfriend brought him, asleep, to his bed before leaving.

Next time he saw him Dad and Sammy came to tell him they’d be going on a hunt together, Sammy, innocent sweet Sammy almost 12 was going on his first hunt and Dean was both proud and terrified, he kept his brave face, Dad never took him on a hunt, he always said they were too young, Sam went to the car to get his new knife and Dean finally let out the question “why you’re taking Sammy with you? You said I was too young… you said… it wasn’t safe…”  
John looked uncomfortable for a minute before sighing “it’s… is not safe…”

“For someone without an angel…?” Dean eyes filled with tears and he hid his eyes from his father, Dad was about to say something else but Sam was there chatting nonstop about the knife Dad gave him and the light his angel had, how bright his little idiot was when training. Dad started giving Sam some advise while Dean begged the cherub on Sam’s side to protect him no matter what. 

Once they left Dean started crying, not only it was unfair to be discriminated by his own father, who surely thought that he could be used as a demon vessel, who didn’t even dared to take him on a hunt at 16, but willingly took his 12 years old, after all they were special they were men of letter knights, they were hunters. Dean felt bad he wanted to die, just like that night in the bridge and covering his eyes prayed for help “Hello Dean” he knew who was there, after a second when he finally looked up “you okay?” Castiel was there once more serious and ready to help, he gave Dean a small plate of pudding, just what Mom used to give him when he felt bad, Dean told him about the family business and what was about to happen “Is it your wish for your brother to be safe? Even more than you being protected?” head tilted to the side and eyes curious on every gesture of his face 

“Yes… it is” the guy nodded, moved closer and grazed his lips in a kiss “don’t cry, you’re too precious to be in pain, I’ll take care of everything” Castiel moved once more capturing Dean’s lips on a kiss, making his young friend look down surprised; Dean cleaned his eyes and when he looked up searching for his boyfriend, the blue eyed guy was not there anymore.

***  
3

Sam couldn’t stop himself, the first time he killed a skin walker by himself, his cherub got a little hassled but both the boy and his guardian were safe.

“Yeah…” Dad smiling proud kept adding details to Sam’s story “but for one second I was worried… there was a seraph in the place, and I don’t know why… the guy helped us out or I swear we could’ve been in serious trouble”

A knock on the door made them turn “May I come in?” asked Castiel, eyes fix only on Dean, Dean’s heart made a summersault, was he planning on telling his father about them? Why he didn’t say anything before? Suddenly before he could say anything Dad was on his feet and walking to his boyfriend “Of course… please, come in… you are most welcome” and holding Castiel hand turned to the bed “come and met my oldest son, Dean” 

“I’ve met him Sir, long ago…” and moved inside the room “but I got lost and because of my mistake he’s suffered… I can’t express how sorry I am for that Dean Winchester…”

Dean moved on his bed “What?” and turning to his father “Dad?” 

John moved to the bed “this is the seraph we found…” 

“Yes, Knight, I helped you because my charge asked me to, Dean Winchester asked me to.” And moving close to Dean “I have spent almost 15 years in this human form looking for my charge, for my soul…” the angel claimed “I was meant to guard the most bright and pure soul given to a human, a human of great value, a human only worth of an archangel, but I got lost…” John’s mouth fell open “my brothers, all of them wanted me to protect that soul, but it was so bright, and so fair…” and the angel had tears in his eyes, “that I couldn’t stand it, I touched it and the joy of something so bright and so pure was so much… I had to turn, even if only for a second, when I looked back you weren’t there anymore…” and smiling to Dean “I should’ve told you, but I couldn’t... I couldn’t face the shame… when you looked at me…with…” face down, eyes closed shook his head 

John had thick rows of tears on his face by then “there was a possessed man at the hospital, he was looking for my wife, that day we had her seraph carve Dean’s ribs with the seal we were supposed to use once his angel got there…” and looking to his son “you’re a Winchester, you’re a hunter, we had to, it was too risky, but we waited, almost a whole week, until your mom lost all hope…” 

“Time for an angel is not the same as it is for humans” Castiel sighed “what was a second for me was more in common human time… I got distracted, is so important to be charged with a soul like this… I was vane, and for that…”

“I do have an angel?” asked Dean in disbelief, “after all this time? I do have one?” and the angel smiled moving one step closer

“Yes, Dean Winchester, my name is Castiel and I’m sorry, for…”

“GET OUT!” shouted Dean angry “Get out! You weren’t there all this years, all this years I had to feel miserable and alone, always unworthy and unclean..!” and sobbed turning to his Dad.

“Calm down…” Dad tried “he saved us Dean, please…” but John would never say no to Dean eyes, because they’re Mary’s eyes.

“Please Dad, please, I swear I’ll never ask for anything else, just make him leave…” and Dad acted on instinct hugging him, ordering the cherubs to act, it was rare, very rare for someone to ask their angels to defend them, but to protect a child? Each and every angel would do it. Castiel was casted out in a bolt of light and angry feathers.

Dean was sent home few days later and he was sad, not Dad or Sammy dared to mention the angel following them or standing under Dean’s window in the yard. He cried all the time, the second the door closed on his bedroom, the second he was left alone, it wasn’t mom and Dad’s fault they did what they had to do, but his angel was too selfish to care for him from the start, he not only was selfish, he also lied to him, made him believe he cared, made him believe he finally had someone.

Dean still had to go to PT, but since Dad an Sam were on a hunt again and he was left alone, he had to take a bus, he cleaned his tears, when a cherub tapped his shoulder and as he looked at the chubby kid he giggled, and kissed his forehead, the little angel’s charge looked at them and got all big eyed and weird when the cherub kissed Dean on the lips, the guy held his guardian pulling him away from Dean while frowning.

So that is something angels do… is not special, is not something special, the angel, the seraph didn’t liked him, he just did what he thought would make Dean happy and make Dean forgive him “you lied to me…” he said against the window and sighed clouding the glass, he could see Castiel standing there, looking at him.

He climbed out of the bus near the hospital, but he never got there, a couple guys, stopped him “where’s your angel pretty boy?” Dean tried to back off, or get close to a wall so he’d have one side less to worry, with his leg, he wouldn’t be able to escape. “We couldn’t see you, so pure little legacy… ” and the guy blinked showing him black eyes “now? Now Castiel’s grace, the general’s grace is lighting you like a beacon” and three of them fell on the young hunter, Dean fought the best he could, but at some point he fell and that was it.

Dean woke up once more in a hospital, to someone holding his hand; it was Castiel “there you are…” Dean’s eyes fixed in the bearded older doctor with the thunder like voice “why were you alone knowing demons are loose in this city…?” and to the angel “you’re lucky you have a big one…” the doctor’s Cherub was on Castiel’s neck healing little wounds “he got beaten… but used his grace on you” the doctor smiled “you’re lucky…” he spoke to the kid doctor next to him and left without any other word to Castiel 

“I’m sorry Dean, but you asked me not to get close, it took me too long to find you… again” and offered him a slice of pie.

Dean swatted the food away “Dad… ” Dean could see how hurt was Castiel, a bite like wound on his neck, both arms exposed under the shreds of his shirt, his face had several bruises and his lips chapped, dried blood on them. 

Castiel moved to help Dean with his pillow “his cherub was informed, he’s on his way, do you want me to bring him faster? I could…” Dean fell back on the pillow and sighed.

“Relax, he’ll be here…” the doctor’s cherub was still there healing Castiel’s wounds one by one “so… Cas… is this what’s gonna be? Having you?” 

Castiel frowned and tried twice before finally speaking “I’m your angel Dean Winchester, I’ll be there, even if you like it or not, you’re of great importance, I cannot just leave your side…” and finally looking at him from under long dark lashes “even if you order me to leave you.”

Dean rubbed his face, feeling the burn of the new wounds “great…” he hissed “can’t at least heal yourself? Are you planning on playing pity on me?”

“My grace… I used as much as I could in you… I need to rest before…” Dean snorted.

“Everything you did so far is some kind of sacrifice, huh?” the little cherub healed Castiel’s lip before Dean heard a sound, it was like a bell, so clear and so pure it made the boy shiver, and the cherub left.

“No…” Castiel frowned confused “I went back to see… at the rooftop…every time, and in your other bed…”

“The kisses?” the angel nodded. “All that..? Was it real?” and Castiel nodded “yeah…” Dean sneered and looked away “how do I know is not you trying to convince me of how sorry you are.”

A hand on his cheek made him turn towards his angel “I felt them too, here.” and pointed to his heart, Dean couldn’t breathe, something electric filled him when his angel one more caught his lips in a more urgent kiss, making him mewl desperate “…and in other places…” Castiel kept “I don’t know what that means but I feel hunger for you… something so powerful, something no angel has ever felt before” to Dean this was too good to be truth, his experience in life made him fear this was nothing but a trick, he still wondered why this angel was there, a giant massive angel, the one with the grace so big that cherubs had to bow to him. An angel that talks to you, that needs his own bed. 

He feared this wasn’t real, just another joke, just another mean joke from life, from heaven, then the hand, callused big hand of his angel touched his back pulling him closer and opening his mouth with an inviting tongue, Dean’s eyes snapped open, wished he had the strength to fight, but the taste, the warm of that tongue, Dean’s only human. And he gives in to the caresses, they made out for a while, Dean stopping now and then, like trying to control the moment, still not sure if he should let go, he’s been tricked before, he’s learnt not to trust others easily. And every time he stops his angel got closer, and kissed him and caressed him even harder, more urgently, rubbing his form against Dean’s, lips found his way down Dean’s throat and sucked his skin making Dean’s hips snap forward desperate.  
“Please… please…” Dean wasn’t sure what he needed, Cas to stop? To go on? 

They heard steps on the hallway and Castiel just raised his hand when Dean tried to push the angel away, in a blink of white light the door disappears and they’re alone, Dean felt the weight change, he landed on his back with his angel’s body on top, he gasped as the angel grunted, all the clothes that once covered his body were gone and the talented tongue was on him, those lips pressed on his skin, leaving a warm trail of kisses downwards, tongue swirling around his bellybutton, and then he sucked a mark on the soft skin under it, where the trail of blond coarse hair had appeared not long ago.

Dean looked around surprised to find they’re no longer in his hospital bed, this room, white walls, great pillars with gold rivulets all over the walls and ceiling, the bed, giant, with soft silky sheets, fluffy pillows, and his angel, his seraph, HIS, between his legs, while trapping him, forcing his caresses on him.

Dean tried to move, but the growl his angel let out scared him “Castiel…” the angel looked at him, those eyes, that used to calm him made him feel vulnerable, trapped like a little animal in front of a beast, the blue on them changed to a bright illuminated color and he pinned Dean down climbing his body again, sniffing him as if savoring his body, he plastered himself on top of Dean and started moving his pelvis rutting against the boy

“I won’t let you go again” the voice resonated in the whole room “I won’t let you alone…” 

Dean had tears on his eyes, this felt right, but it still scared him senseless, the bite on his nipple surprised him, the jolt of electricity made his chest left the bed moving forward, as if asking to Castiel to go on. And the angel obliged, his hands wrapped the slim waist and moved downwards once more, to tease firm fleshy cheeks and muscled tights “we’ll be together now on…”

“No, please, I do not… NO!” Castiel groaned and pushed Dean harder when he fought the probing finger on his lower back “HELP!” he shouted and finally the angel stopped, moved back a little to see the scared teen scrambling backwards, to get something from the table.

Dean smacked the glass statue of a saint he found and rammed the edge he got in his hands through the Seraph’s chest. Castiel made a wounded sound, looked down to his own blood and then to Dean with fear and anger.

Next thing Dean knew he was once more in the hospital bed, angel nowhere to be seen and hands still covered in blood, body shivering desperate.  
He didn’t say anything about that to his father

***  
4  
It takes Dean all of his will power to ask Bobby for the spell, and it takes him even more to convince Dad of this, he just can’t face Castiel, he’s afraid next time he’ll let him do whatever his seraph wants, because maybe his hunter’s instinct made him stop, but his body was screaming to give in, to let Castiel ravish his body, he’d have begged to be taken, to give up his virginity, so the angel could’ve stayed “I get you’re angry…” said Bobby “but, sealing your angel away from you is plain stupid kid, even for a Winchester…” Dean didn’t budge “listen pigheaded idjit…” and Dean smiled “I’m giving you powerful shit here… you better tell me why…” Dean blinked, more sure than ever, and turned to his father.

John smiled “Dean says he doesn’t want his angel close, and he’s the only man I know for sure can deal with not having an angel” Dean looked to his Dad “and I’ll be there, he does not need a winged prick who weren’t there when we needed him the most... Right?” Dean nodded and moved away to hide his tears.

He told Dad about the room and about the blood and Dad planted sigils and seals all over his hospital room for the time being, the whole hospital closed to angels, Dad’s little cherub, always nice to Dean was casted out of his room too and was pouting on the windowsill, waving sadly to the heartbroken teen.

He made his mind waiting to get home, it took only two days, the seraph had cured him, and he only needed a clear scan to be discharged. He was carried on a wheel chair to the car, Sammy at his side while he explained them why he wanted to be angel-less once more. 

That’s how Dean Winchester compelled his angel away from him, and it worked for the next two years. The separation worked well, making Dean a more mature person, a more levelheaded person ready for the world. Finally, understood what his father has been telling him for the last 10 years, he was something because he was his own person, his own soul and not because he had someone looking after him.

Dad finally took him on hunts, and finally trusted him with the adults stuff, after those two years Dean Winchester, the angel less hunter, the lone Knight had a name on his own, in heaven and earth, rumors said he was feared in hell, and that purgatory were full of stories of the righteous hero who roamed in dark places defending innocents, something to fear and run away from. The one without an angel.

But deep inside Dean still missed the connection he once had with a seraph, his seraph, now people knew about the hunter without an angel, that he wasn’t alone because he was bad but because he didn’t need an angel to be the righteous man he were.

The young boy, wide eyed innocent boy was gone, part of that lost with girls, here and there, when he saved someone, when he killed something, more than one girl gladly spend time with him, and he tried hard to find in those bodies the warmth and safety he felt in the stolen scarce moments with Castiel.

Wherever he went people came closer and smiled to him, ladies wanted to hug him and kids stared, in awe at the hero; after the last world wide census there were only four people in the whole planet who had seraphs as guardians, and two of them would lose them soon, and there he was Dean Winchester… not wanting an angel “He’s a hero” someone said “he wants the angel to protect someone else, for sure, after all he’s legacy”

It hurt having those who called monster and freak admiring him. Angels in the other hand were as stupid and giggly as usual, every now and then one could come and kiss him or give him a piece of paper with *I’m sorry* written on it or *I miss you* or *be safe* one special note made him even sadder than usual *please call for me* but Dean Winchester never answered, he just hugged the little messengers surprising the charges and making the little angels weep.

But after almost a year and an especially frowny little idiot the notes stopped 

Dean was just turning 19 when it happened, he was waiting for Bill Harvelle to join him, he was banned from the roadhouse because last time there, he was found between little Jo’s legs, she’s not a child, he knows, and he wasn’t planning on going all the way, she just felt alone and lost and he knows how good it feels, how complete it makes you feel, even if for a while when someone touches you, Dad said he’ll wait for them at the storage unit, once Bill proves himself worth of Dean’s trust.

He was so lost in his memories he never heard them coming, “look at you Winchester, all grown up!!” shouted a known voice, was Justin, Stupid Justin “and yet no angel!!” Dean tried to move but he couldn’t, something had him trapped against the wall he leaned into when the memories of his angel were too painful The guys got close, showing feral teeth to Dean “I always wanted to know how you tasted… oh so important little hunter” the guy growled and pushed Dean down the stairs, Dean did his best to cover his face, he knew he’d be really hurt, he prayed to be able to get up and fight, prayed to have Bill arriving and being ready to fight too, and braced himself for the pain, but he landed in someone’s arms “You’re safe knight, I’ll assist you against this abominations” the voice was enough, it was his Seraph, his angel, and Dean wanted to cry.

“Who the fuck are you?” shouted Justin and his friends started walking toward them making sounds, growls and grunts.

“I’m Castiel” the seraph had Dean held in his arms princess style much to the hunter’s dismay while huge coal colored wings, those who were never seen rose over them with sparks of light and thunder showing Castiel’s status, “I’m an angel of the lord, Warrior angel of the lord…” and letting go of Dean “I will protect the only vessel of Michael, Archangel” and holding Dean by the hand leaded Dean behind his back “do your worst, monsters”

***  
5  
Castiel was summoned to heaven once more “you tainted your charge, brother” Michael was standing next to a throne and looking Castiel down “I gave you an important task little brother…” Raphael at his left was shaking his head no while he started talking “the vessel is polluted Michael, you have to… is the only way”  
Castiel looked from one to other archangel “What…?”

“Raphael and Uriel think that the best I could do is erase the vessel, and start again… you can go back to protect them from themselves” and sighing “Anna needs you in Bosnia now…” and turned “father is still not around and we need to reign his creations…” Michael keeps talking to him about war and destruction and how free will have ruined the whole planet while Uriel, big menacing archangel Uriel moved to a side and touched the wall to show them Dean Winchester vanishing an angry Spirit, the innocent soul sent back to heaven with his prayers while he salted and burned the remains. “Raphael… what are you going to do with him?”

The dark eyed Archangel turned “He’s broken, his heart is not whole, he’s tainted, he’s afraid of our kind… little brother, whatever you did, you ruined the vessel, and I’ll delete his existence from the world.” 

Castiel spent his life being objective and cold, always seeing the bigger picture, always following his orders, until he was given the charge of Dean Winchester’s soul, he thought it was because he was vane and foolish “Brother… no…” Raphael passed next to Castiel “Please… no… it is my fault entirely” Castiel raised his voice and moved forward calling the attention of all archangels in the room surrounding the empty chair “Please… I…”

“He’s afraid of us… Little brother, and he’s even though strangely longing for you to be back… he’s a waste now” the archangel raised a hand and the monster had Dean down a hand on his neck twisting, little snap like sounds were heard in the whole place, John Winchester’s voice could be heard calling for his son  
“What would you do…? Cassie?” Gabriel was next to him “he casted you away, you know? With a real spell translated from Aramaic” and smiling “That stupid human creature that helped him has to be punished too…”

“I beg you…” Castiel tried once more before seeing the piece of paper in his brother’s hand.

“Please Call for me” Michael read “you think this went unnoticed?” and getting angrier “your foolish vanity risked everything we have planned for them!!! Your absurd infatuation on your charge!!! You almost destroyed heaven and earth!! ” thunders resonated in the whole world.

“Please...” begged Castiel one last time “Please... It was my fault… not…”

“We know he is amazing” Raphael moved between them “he’s never had an angel and yet he’s still pure and was completely unpolluted, until you… even now, his soul has a light so bright…” eyes fix on the young hunter “he’s special…”

Michael spoke “his spell, the one he used to keep you away makes it impossible for you to finds him, unless he calls for you, or unless the love of our father intercede, right?” Gabriel made a sound of agreement “then I command you brother forget him” and moved away once more until he disappeared in the cloudy white light “Uriel, deal with this for me… please”.

Castiel appeared in front of him “Erase me… then, I; not him, erase me…” Michael rolled his eyes and turned. “Gabriel” tried Castiel “Please, brother, it’s my failure, don’t take it out on him, the archangel turned to his brothers and was Raphael who finally moved. With a snap of his fingers Castiel was gone, he landed on a battle field, children cries and the smell of rotten flesh permeated the air, he moved following the weak bells of cherub wings, he had work to do.

Inside Castiel not a vague memory of Dean Winchester was left.

***  
6

The last Dean remembers is a whisper of “close your eyes” and when he opens them back the corpses of five guys “you’re safe now hunter…” and the angel moved away not even looking back to Dean “I had to take this possessed men down… I’ve been following these creatures for years…” Castiel held a shiny silver blade and checked the bodies, stabbing each chest with it before turning to Dean, “we don’t really know what they are…” His head did the little tilt that showed he found something especially interesting or intriguing “Where is your angel hunter?”

Dean thought he actually got hit and had a concussion, what kind of question was that?

“Don’t you know?” and licking his lips and blinking “are you kidding me?” the angel frowned, blue questioning eyes fix on the young hunter’s face 

Castiel moved closer until he was just one step away from Dean “your soul is pure, and bright, and so beautiful… but you still should have an angel” and then Castiel gasped, and Dean smiled “finally” he thought “he remembers”

“You’re Dean Winchester… you’re the hunter without a guardian, you’re special” and held a hand open wanting to shake Dean’s.

The hunter was about to punch the angel in the face, he had dreams about this moment, when finally for some weird design of destiny he’d be with his angel again, he imagined caresses and I’m sorry’s whispered against his lips, he imagined being held, and imagined he’d feel safe and whole once more, not this… Not cold blue hollow eyes on him and not trace of recognition.

“Castiel…” a red haired angel with white light surrounding her was standing few feet away from them “you caught them?” and without even turning at the hunter picked up one of the bodies “Good Work General…” and then looked at Castiel and Dean standing very close to each other.

“This Hunter…” the seraph informed “Is Michael’s vessel” and frowning and squinting as if he could see something else inside Dean “but I can’t read his soul… ” the lady angel examined Dean for a moment.

“I’m Anna, I’m a seraph, Warrior angel of the lord…” and she smiled amazed “you’re… you are Dean Winchester… THE Dean Winchester?” and moved to hugging him “For the Lord, I thought I’d never met the legend…” and let him go to stare amazed at his face, she had a glazed look on her eyes, and her smile was so bright it made Dean’s heart swell, her hands roamed Dean’s arms and she giggled “I’m sorry knight… I’m just…” and hugged him once more, Dean was surprised and fel uncomfortable but accepted the hug and the kiss; after all even when he spent time with women he never felt that same closeness, same warmth than when an angel hugs you.

“Anna..?” 

The angel turned, her hands still on the hunter “don’t you understand Castiel? He’s the hunter, he’s special, and everybody has been talking about him for the last two and a half years…”

Castiel once more moved closer, eyes fix on Dean, still seeing something else, something he can’t point at “Is something else… something else… I just…” and Castiel sighed.

“If you’re done with this…” and walked away from the angels “I have to go…” smiled to the girl angel “thank you sweetie” and winked at her “but I have to go…” and to Castiel “Nice to see you again Cas” and the confident smile faltered for one second.

“What are these creatures?” Castiel moved to the dead bodies, the mere touch of them left him unclean feeling 

“I don’t know, this are mixed breeds of monsters, something is creating them… someone wants to open hell… apparently” and after vanishing the bodies Anna stood next to Castiel “move, there are floodings in half the world, there are lots of souls in need.”

Castiel followed her, but something was still bothering him, something was there, in the edge of his tongue wanting to get out “Castiel?” Anna had deep dark blue eyes on his face “why he called you Cas?” and frowning “did you met him before?”

Castiel frowned, no, he’d remember meeting such an important soul, so bright, so pure, even after the fornication and using the name of the lord in vain, but he was also righteous and virtuous, after all Castiel heard that from his father, Being virtuous has nothing to do with a body never been touched as much as only being touched when love was involved and he never saw a soul with such capacity for love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seecond and final part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was one of my first fics, so be kind

***  
7

Dean Winchester pretty much ran out of the abandoned school, his heart pounding so hard in his chest it hurt, he wanted to leave, so he was of no importance for the angel, he just moved on, he just accepted it and moved on. Bill was against his car, knocked out, but alive and it took him only a couple minutes to wake him up.

The drive to the storage unit took three and a half hours, and the first thing he saw was Sammy’s head, his baby brother looked like a 30-something man, he was huge, Dean was proud, he only needed to fill out a little more. “Wow… Is that Sam?” Bill chuckled “DAMN you Winchesters always so fucking huge” both laughed, the door opened and Sammy dimpled face ran to Dean, in a second the young hunter had his brother in his arms and a grizzled cherub draped on his neck “nice to see you two” he said taping the little angel’s back while holding Sammy’s arm and they looked meaningfully in the eye.

“Dad’s been waiting for you for hours… ” and Sam turned to Bill who only nodded “we thought…”

Dean winked at him “Nahhh… I was just taking care of things… you know?” Sam smiled 

“Something was waiting for us on that school” commented Bill Harvelle “your brother caught four or five monsters by himself” and John appeared at the door hearing that moved to his eldest and hugged him tight asking if he was okay.

“I’m fine… I got help…. Two seraphs.” Dad looked into his eyes, the way only Dads do, knowing exactly what’s inside of you, Dean just nodded 

“Where is he…? ” and checked inside of Dean’s shirt in one fast pull to check the tattoo and the little scar where the sigil was branded on his flesh.

Dean pulled his shirt and looked ashamed, “it’s okay, apparently this makes it impossible for him to recognize me; I’m safe…” Dad sighed “really, Dad, I’m safe…” and chuckled “you think I could let him get close again?”

Bill was looking from one another in perplexity Sammy moved to hug Dean once more, just like both flying idiots. “For Christ’s Sakes…” both cherubs gasped and shuddered before hugging him again.

Dad and Bill had time to discuss business while Dean and Sammy did some catch up “after the thulpa and the werewolf…” Sam was laughing while eating the gummy worms Dean brought for him “I had to go back to school have you any idea how hard is Advanced trig when you’ve spent the last three days up?” 

“I bet not as hard as being trapped inside of a grave with two screaming frat boys wetting their pants” Sam laughed “I don’t know why you keep with school, is not worthy anyways, we’re hunters Sammy… that’s all” a puff called them and Sammy’s cherub gasped and pulled him away.

They got up from the hood of the 67 impala, to see a couple dozen of demons looking at them, the boys knew they could smell it; the fresh demon blood Dad was giving Bill to seal all of them out of an orphanage. “move Sammy” without even changing speed Dean had his sawed off Shot gun in hands and was shooting through the parking lot to stop the attackers, two of ten fell in the first three shots from the sawed off, Sammy had a crossbow and was shooting arrows after dipping them in holy water, Dean moved forward after signaling Sam with a hand that he had to close the right and follow him, Dad and Bill were coming out of the storage already, Dad’s gruff voice were heard “Dean take the lead, straight to the center and find a cover NOW!”

Sam chuckled when his arrow landed on a guy’s neck, Dean finally got to the corner and had a safe place, demons kept coming shouting and screaming and baring long teeth and dark eyes, every bullet send more and more of them to the floor, cherubs were touching foreheads when they got too close to their charges, when Dean heard the yelp from one of the winged little idiots he feared for his brother.

Dad was shouting his youngest name and Bill had someone by the neck while snapping it to a side, but Sammy was on the floor, crossbow destroyed and holy water splashed all over the place.

“Sammy!!” Dean let go of his shotgun and bared his special knife, the one he had since he killed a high rank demon that had it. It was all like in slow motion, he moved forward, knees locked feet apart while he slashed his way to his baby brother who was twisting and fighting as best as he could, in the last moment he saw one of those creatures, like Justin, something more than a simple demon; the guy got Sam’s hair and pulled him away while more and more beings were getting closer, stopping him, slowing his steps; “Want him back hunter?” shouted the creature and kicked Sam into submission “you don’t have enough power…” and something hit Dean, he fell feeling defeated, another blow on him and he still turned looking for Sammy, they’d take his brother away, he’d be even more alone than ever; so he did what he promised he’d never do again “Please, Please God, help me, I need help, Please…”

A lightning illuminated the parking lot and a dark haired angel appeared, ash colored wings in display “you called for me; knight, I’ll assist you” and Castiel blades reflected the light from the sky while moved graciously around slaying demons, in amazing white volts of light, three cherubs followed him and Dean thought he saw how the little winged guys grew and got brighter, following orders from the Seraph. Dean got up and started fighting again; killing as many as he could while repeating an exorcism, Dad and Bill came behind doing the same.

Finally, Dean slain the last of them and looked where Castiel was holding his baby brother in his arms, what had this guy with carrying grown up hunters bridal style? He smiled and got to them too relieved to even make fun “Thank you, thank you…” Dean chanted as he moved to hold Sammy to wake him up. He got few bruises but nothing too bad; finally his hazel eyes fluttered open and he gasped seeing Dean next to him and held to his older brother while Dean started crying “Thanks God, Thanks God… Sammy… I thought” they were both sobbing when Dad’s arms surrounded them.  
“Boys… Thanks God” John Winchester repeated, after only a couple second he composed himself and moved to finish things with Bill.

Later the other hunter was leaving with sigils planted on him and his car by the seraph. Sam was still cleaning Sammy with the little winged idiot next to him; Castiel looked from afar how the cherub and the hunter biker over what was the best for the boy. And is not until John was back that Castiel could finally move “Why are you still here?” asked the hunter before turning to his sons “last time you hurt my boy…” but then everything froze, Castiel blinked when Gabriel’s voice snapped him out of the surprised stupor   
“Little brother, look at you!!, reunited with the perfect soul…” and grinned malicious “One could think that in a world with over 6 billion persons and soul you wouldn’t end up face to face with this one soul, huh?” Castiel frowned not understanding anything; Gabriel got something from his pocket and started crunching it with his teeth “you still don’t remember, right?” and smiled mischievous “let me tell you a story” and touched Castiel’s forehead.

Castiel saw how he boasted in front of Ezekiel and Naomi, How once at the hospital and seeing the little baby with such a big soul he cried and then started using his real voice to call to all other angels telling them what a big task he had, the whole place resonated, glasses cracked and people got hurt, but he didn’t cared, he felt so proud of himself, assigned to such a great task; he bent over the cradle “I’ll love you forever Dean Winchester” promised and when the baby smiled at him, seeing his light reflected in perfect green pupils, he had to turn, only for a second or his heart will burst.

Little he knew that was his voice that called the demon; Azazel appeared at the hospital using the body of a man who just lost his faith with his family on a car accident. It was his fault that they had to carve the seals on Dean being so young, it was his fault that Dean went through his entire life alone, he saw spoofs here and there of parents pushing Dean away from other kids at school, kids being mean to him and Sam and even John being punched for defending his angel less son; people whispering behind his back, saw Sammy cleaning endless times blood from Dean’s face and knees from fights, with time, Sam joined him in the fights.

Castiel was in Somalia at the time, trying to help the army of heaven with the monsters that unleashed famine on mankind again, and war, and pestilence, it was the last time the four horsemen were let loose.

When he felt it, felt the pull of his charge, the one soul he had to look after and failed, he felt it because the heart bonded to it was broken, in one second he was there, in time to see Dean Winchester, the boy with the brightest soul whisper “Good bye Sammy, Good Bye Dad” clean his eyes and looking to the stars shouted “please be there, mom” and let himself go.

Castiel saw everything as if seen on a screen and then turned to the only other person that was moving, Dean Winchester; he was still caressing his baby brother’s hair and smiling softly while talking to him, endless patience and endless love in every gesture.

“He’s special, and as you can see not even an archangel's power can stop the brightness of his soul and his pure love… ” and Gabriel turned to him “not even when you spoiled that mere soul.” And threw another of those things from his pocket to his mouth “Michael thinks that you corrupting his vessel was an act of defiance, maybe an act that proves hell is about to be opened, I believe this is our father’s love acting on our world.”

“I don’t understand…”

“You asked Michael to erase your presence from his life, you won’t remember anything” and getting even close to Dean “but he does… not even an archangel power could delete that feeling from his pure soul… aw, lamb” said with a fake tone when Dean held the Cherub and kissed the pink cheek causing the little winged guy to blush, Gabriel starting laughing.

“How could I ruin a vessel like this one?” Castiel asked desperate “How could I be so selfish to leave him alone…” the angel started crying desperate.

“Stop that, Cas, I don’t have time for it” and snapped his fingers, everything was moving again “I can’t change what another archangel did, but I can help you… I can make him forget you too, you’ll have a white slate to start again… don’t ruin it this time…”

The hunters turned to see him “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” He started “Oh brave hunter, you’re favored by the lord” and snorted “DAMN last time I came saying something like that I was outing a preggo” Castiel moved to him scandalized, Gabriel just shook a hand in the air as if it were the most common thing ever and announced “this is Castiel Angel of The lord” and pointed his thumb towards the Seraph “Since those whatever they are…” and with a face of disgust turned to the rests of those creatures on the floor “abomination from purgatory… are hunting you and your kind, Knight, I offer you his help.”

Dean moved a step in front, something wasn’t okay and he could feel it “Who are you? And why you’re offering angels as if they were pets?”

The shorter man smiled again, he had innocence in his eyes even if the mischief was obvious in his actions “I’m Gabriel Archangel, little vessel, and I’m offering help because heaven cannot afford to lose the vessel of Michael, you’re special…” and looking at Sammy “you protect the one who must never be corrupted, let’s say never be tempted” Sam huffed offended let’s be clear… he should never be tempted to start with… he doesn’t look like he’d say no to a good pair of tits ” and rubbed his lips before turning to Castiel while both Dean and John were huffing offended and Sammy looked hurt towards his older brother “I give you that much little brother, this is The Lord present of love for him and you.” And moving backwards “I want to believe this is all meant to be, a sign that the father hasn’t left.”

Gabriel left and John looked into Blue deep eyes with distrust “So… you’re an angel and you were sent to protect us? We are Knights of the men of letters, from an old family of hunters; why would we need protection?”

Castiel was left speechless “heaven works in strange ways…” he said -angelic version of I have no fgucking idea- and turning to Dean Winchester “Since you’re the hunter without an angel I’m here for you, pure one” and bowed a little.

“Okay…?” Dean snorted “But I already had a douche of an angel once, I do not need more…” both his father and his brother frowned and turned at him.

“Dean” Sam started “you never had an angel”

Dean looked from his brother to his angel and nodded “okay…” Sam was still dizzy so Dean held him “come on, Sammy, let’s get home, you need to rest.”

The angel moved close and touched Dean’s arm moving all of them to their house. “Now he can rest….” He offered with a tentative smile to Dean.

The hunter frowned “okay… thank you” Dean turned to his Dad and made a face much to Sam and Dad amusement “Grub?” the Winchester grunted in unison, Castiel was next to them with a feast of roast beef and potatoes, and had a giant cherry pie in his hands and was offering it to Dean, he blinked and his precious lips formed a surprised O; flustered he took the pie “thank you… I guess”

Castiel moved one step closer “is the same your mother used to do for you… ” John moved nervous “you love it I know…”

John was there with a hand on the Seraph’s chest “enough… angel, leave my boy alone…” and sighing “let’s wash up before dinner” he said looking at Sam’s clothes and hands covered in a variety of stains. The boys moved together to the sink and Dad walked the short distance to the bathroom. Sam whispered to his brother while washing blood from his hands and Dean was cleaning something from his face, oil? “is it just me or the angel kinda fancy you…” Dean snorted “seriously, I bet if you ask for anything he’d do it…”

Dean frowned to his baby brother “Shh…” Sammy had a childish smile on his face, and turned on his heels “Uh… Castiel? Dean would like to have a nice fresh Salad with his food” Dean was drying his hands and moving to tell Castiel he didn’t have to “is at the table Dean Winchester, whatever you want…” 

Sam looked over the seraph’s shoulder to find a giant bowl of salad on the table “Awesome!!” he said laughing, Dean rolled his eyes and made his little brother promise not to use the angel for that.

***  
8

It was cold and that night the snow left them trapped, Dad sealed the house but still they’ll keep guard, he took the first guard and Dean and Sam went to bed, sharing as usual, even being all grown up and having more room, they just wanted to be close when they could. Dad checked on his sons twice before his time was done, he woke up Sam, but Dean was up before his baby brother even blinked “I’ll do second, he needs rest, he’s got a test tomorrow…” he said with a smile.

“Okay…” John smiled “but wake him up… he has obligations with this family too…” Dad yawned, scratched his belly and sat to get his boots off while Dean moved to the couch to throw his old leather jacket over the two cherubs with a smile; both little guys smile at him and closed their eyes.

Castiel was standing there, invisible, he needed to see more, he wanted to understand more, why this warrior, this… incredible special creature was still pure, after what he did to ruin him, shame and pain filled him “aren’t you gonna show your angelic ass now?” asked Dean low enough to make him turn but not to disturb his father and his brother.

Castiel was there with soft rustle of feathers “I’m sorry… I noticed my presence is unsettling for your father”

“SO… you just come back like that and pretend anything ever happened?” and looking straight into Castiel's eyes serious “you don’t get your way you forget everything?”

Castiel moved closer “I was sent away and then… I was ordered to stay away…”

“I don’t need you anymore… I don’t know what that other guy did; I don’t really care… as far as I’m concerned… ”and sighing “was he even a real archangel? He looked too much like the kind of douches I’ve been fighting my entire life to…”

“Please... He’s actually an archangel, don’t risk yourself offending one of them, they’re powerful and absolute…”

“Okay, let’s not bug the sleazy archangel… but I need an explanation” and sitting straight. “where were you all this time?”

“There are other souls that need me Dean, even if I belong to yours...” 

Dean snorted “yeah… that’s why you made me care for you and then left…” and still looking straight to his face added. “at least this time I understood why, I didn’t had an angel because I was safer without one.”

Castiel sat next to him “I’m sorry Dean” and smiling “I care for you, and I love you, but my mission was not to be a romantic interest for you, I was never meant to be that for you”

Dean bit his bottom lip, well now that was an interesting “yeah... I guess I was just too stupid and too naïve to believe someone would care for me… for real” Castiel could feel it, how Dan lost hope, how his heart turned colder and emptier. 

“I’m sorry… ” he tried again “I… I’m sorry…”

“Yeah” Dean moved getting more comfortable “apparently you are… ” and finally as if it meant nothing. “you’re staying, right? And sure you’re not gonna try anything, right? Would you please wake me up in few hours? Don’t let Sammy get up, he has a test tomorrow.” and closed his eyes, he didn’t actually slept, but he was good at pretending, Castiel stood next to him, watching out for him, like mom said angels do.

Dean trusted Castiel enough to sleep, and he was quite useful in hunts too, far more useful than his dad and brother’s cherubs.

The only bad thing was having a full sized angel in raggy clothes following you everywhere; Dean couldn’t even go to the loo without him following, people used to think he was another human, since Castiel was better than other angels in hiding his wings.

“What do you want?” asked Dad while Dean marched fast to the bathroom.

“Bacon cheese burger and large fries, and a extra milkshake for Cas” and ran to the back of the place “Cas, wait with Dad and Sammy. Please…” yeah, half his interest was not having the angel looking over his shoulder as he relieved himself and half was Phoebe, the waitress, older by more than five years, pretty thing, with the sex drive of a teenage boy, they’ve been there before, more than once, and the girl was always glad to join him in the back for a quickie. 

And Dean was not disappointed, the girl, generous cleavage, small waist, round hips, long toned legs and converse shoes smiled at him and winked as she passed by his side and made a sound. A moan like sound that had him hard in seconds, he moved fast to the back and when the door swung closed he heard her very feminine voice calling “I’m taking my 15 now Ed!!” he used the toilet and walked out to the back door to find her sitting on a box “hello sweetie…” she smiled and opened one more button of her shirt revealing her black lace bra “Hello Stranger… I’ve missed you” her arms wrapped on his neck like ivy, her whole body rubbing against his body.

They made out for a couple minutes, the girl’s sweet looking cherub girl with the frilly pink apron -she told Dean was a present for the little winged thing- giggled and covered her eyes “how’s everything sweetie?” asked Dean while his hands worked fast on her cargo shorts.

“Shut up… later…” she let out in a ragged breath and giggled sounding just as sweet and innocent as her angel.

Dean moved a step back and looked into her eyes “that much better huh?” and she nodded.

“Doctor said I’m in remission, thanks for asking…” Dean’s smile was so big Phoebe thought his head will split in two.

“I’m glad for you” he said while she pulled him by his shirt; against her body one hand working on his fly when the grave voice sounded “Dean…” Phoebe made a sound of surprise, they turned to see Castiel standing at the door and Dean held her close whispering he was sorry “go inside Cas, I’ll be back soon, don’t tell Sammy about this.”

Castiel didn’t move, the girl was hidden behind Dean’s body but finally looked up to blue cold eyes and gasped, shame and repentance, things she never felt before, filled her making her cry.

“I’m sorry” she said and followed by her angel ran inside.

“You…!” Dean pointed a finger to Castiel’s face “you are the worst cock-block ever!!” and fastened his pants moving inside. Not caring if Castiel was calling for him.

Sam drove with Dad because his cherub didn’t want to be near to Castiel and Chubbs was acting extremely weird around Dean and Castiel too. So the Impala only had Dean and Castiel who refused to sit on the front “you okay there?” asked Dean looking at the back sit by the mirror , Castiel was there frowning “Hey, Miss Daisy … you’re the one who ruined my date…”

Castiel huffed “fornication” mumbled and ignored Dean, Dean rolled his eyes, reached for the radio and put some Zepp for the ride home, he got to talk to Phoebe, telling her how happy he was and that they should get together later for a real celebration. Just the thought made him a little excited and Castiel was having none of that.

Dean opened his eyes on an empty field, Castiel standing just few feet away from him “What? Again?!” and without any other warning he had the knife on his hand “this time I’m not a scared boy anymore… and I won’t let you take advantage of me.” 

Castiel stood there looking into the angry face of his charge “you think I’d hurt you?”

Dean was ready to attack “I think you were selfish more than once…”

Castiel looked at his face “I just… felt like something inside me was too cold… when she… you were…” and sighing and rubbing his face “I can feel how your body reacts to her, and I don’t like it… but I don’t know why…” 

Dean was still there tense and ready to attack if needed “Take me back, and stay away from my love life”

“Dean…” once more the young hunter repeated his order. “Dean… you must understand one thing, I’m unfamiliar with human emotions”

“Well, let me give the 101class about them” and pointing to himself “I’m angry, and I’m scared” and shouting even louder “I want to be taken back with my family!”

Castiel got close “I don’t want you to touch that woman again”

“Oh! Is this about fornication?”

“No… Is about me wanting to be the only one touching you” Dean wanted to be angry, wanted to be cool and distant, but for years he wanted to hear those words “I don’t remember what we did, how… what… ” and Castiel moved his hands awkwardly “I just know I don’t want anyone else doing it….” And moved one step closer “you’re the most beautiful soul I’ve ever laid eyes on…” Dean snorted

“And you want to defile a pure soul?”

“NO!” Castiel in a blink moved into Dean’s personal space “the will of two archangels was not enough to make you forget” and sighing “maybe there’s a reason” and looking down “Because when I found you at that school even after Michael erased me from your life, and he ordered me directly to forget you I hardly could stop myself from doing this…” in one more step he was holding Dean and kissing his lips.

At first Dean wanted to resist, but this was what he wanted, he wanted to feel this again since that last day at the hospital, Castiel hands roamed his back, one moving to cup his head, fingers caressing short hair, the other to pull the small of his back against his body and Dean felt his eyeballs rolling into his head and let Castiel kiss him.

“This doesn’t solve anything” said Dean pushing the angel away and wielding the knife once more “this is not…” Castiel gasped and held his arm “stay away from me, or I’ll kill you” no angel in the world would get hurt by a weapon made by men, but Dean made Castiel hurt.

“Then do it, kill me, because I’ve spent my life lost and looking for you, and when I finally found you I ruined our only chance… I made you hate me; I made the purest soul, the brightest one, the one with the infinite capacity for love to hate me…” and stepping back “I’m sorry is not enough but how can I make it up for you if you don’t let me?” 

“I don’t want your words, I don’t want you to be sorry, what I want is you to explain WHY?” Dean let the knife fall to the floor “Why you moved on when I couldn’t… why you were my everything but I was absolutely nothing to you…?”

Castiel moved close again and at the touch of Dean’s skin his wound healed surprising both of them “I never moved on, I was ordered by Michael to not look for you, but the second you needed someone I couldn’t stay away… there’s this… feeling, a feeling that’s overwhelming inside of me… this love… that pulls me to you in every way, and no matter how much I try I still can feel it, and I want you with me, I just don’t understand why…”

Dean laughed, and kept laughing startling his angel, he bent forward and sat on the floor, laughing and laughing “I don’t see how this could be funny Dean Winchester” Castiel was dead serious and Dean only laughed more.

“We’re a fucking rom com… and I hate rom coms…” Dean finally sighed and sat on the floor looking at Castiel “I’ll accept your apology if you tell me you’re not gonna leave ever again…”

“I promise on my grace Dean Winchester, as long as I have any light left in me I’ll find a way to go back to you”

“And I promise I’ll be waiting…” he extended his arm for Castiel to help him up, once standing he kissed Castiel once more “OMG I don’t know what my dad’s gonna say” and he chuckled when Castiel frowned and shuddered.

***  
9

Gabriel was standing in an empty room, somehow he ended up there, there was only two beings able to summon him like that, one was missing for the last 2000 years, the other was his brother, higher in rank, “Michael… brother… why was I brought here like this?” he said sitting on a chair with no respect for the powerful angel 

“Because Brother, you are messing with my vessel, and I will not tolerate it!!”

“Free will” Gabriel looked bored “he’s a human, and he has free will, Father ordered so…”

“I don’t care what he ordered!!!” Gabriel smirked and directed his eyes to the other archangel; he could see his true form, a giant bolt of energy, only one small part of that power would destroy him forever, but he wasn’t worried 

“Really?” and looking away “careful, Michael, that sounds awfully like something one of us said once…” Michael moved closer, sheer power rumbled on the floor, the energy between the angels too big, too vast to be contained in the room, it started cracking and pieces of walls and decorations started falling while Michael held him and smashed his brother against the now broken divider “Don’t put words in my mouth!” roared while shaking Gabriel “don’t twist the true… you trickster!!”

Gabriel was against the wall when the light inside him grew “Don’t think I am one of your lackeys, I’m not one of those small angels you command, I’m as powerful l as you!!” and his brother flew across the room “have you seen more than the angel near the soul? Have you seen? How that soul keeps remembering even after you? Even after me?” and walking closer to his brother “he’s special, he remembers… what makes you so sure is not Father who gave him that?” and turning, “I’m not giving him anything, anything more than simple Free Will, if it has to happen it’ll happen with or without our intervention.”

***  
10*last*

Dad wasn’t sure when Dean asked about it, but he finally let his -after all- adult son go away on his own, now he didn’t have to worry anymore, Dean had an angel, a Seraph, just like Mary once had, and Sammy was doing fine, even excited that his brother was not alone anymore.

Dad wasn’t a fool and he knew what was happening with them, he even had a talk with Dean about fooling around with an angel, and sighed relived when Dean made it clear he never had sex with Cas “is that okay for you then?” asked his son worried.

“What? That he’s a guy? YEAH! I’m okay with that, as long as you’re happy and safe…” but making a face and looking anywhere but at his son's face “I just want to be sure you know what you’re doing” Dean laughed and made a joke about anal sex that had John so red it was absurd, the talk to Castiel was far sterner and the angel blushed every time he locked eyes with the older Winchester after that.

That’s how Dean and Castiel shared a room by themselves for first time. Dean closed the door and turned to find his angel one inch away from him “I’m so glad we’re alone…” Castiel murmured before pushing Dean against the door to claim his mouth in a hungry kiss, Dean after a while started feeling less embarrassed of the noises Castiel made him do, so the whimper only causes the angel to plunge forward, hungrier than ever.

“Remember that day at the hospital” whispered Dean while Castiel was sucking purple marks on his neck, only to hear his angel’s growl.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it was never my…” 

Dean slapped him on the ass “I just want you to do the same trick… with our clothes” blue eyes locked with green and a wicked lustful grin appeared on his face before Dean felt the chill air of the room in his skin “Yeah… that’s what I was talking about” and the angel held him up, Dean just opened his legs to hold himsellf up the ange'ls huge erection poking Dean; both giggled while Castiel moved carrying him to the bed, Dean felt how they glided over the floor “you’re not using your angel mojo to do this, are you?” Castiel looked surprised for a second.

“Why? Is it wrong?” and looking at Dean in earnest “I’m sorry this is the first time I…” Dean chuckled.

“is perfect, I always liked your wings” caressed his shoulder; Castiel kissed his way down Dean’s stomach and got to the flat valley where his cock was standing, in one movement engulfed the whole organ in his mouth and Dean almost passed out, he was so deep in Castiel’s throat he felt about to cum, “OH Dear Lord…” he moaned and Cas shuddered and slapped him on the tight making him chuckle “okay, okay no using the name of the lord in Vain…” and Castiel started moving up and down, slurping noisily, his other hand moved to Dean entrance making the hunter squirm at first, Castiel looked up, the question there “are you sure?” Dean smiled and nodded and after just a couple minutes Dean was writhing with his angel inside of him, huge and hot and pulsating, causing waves of -ain pleasure.

Castiel’s non human treats included endless stamina and Dean came four times before falling boneless and sated on the bed with Castiel still pumping row after row of cum in him. 

“You’re beautiful…” mumbled Castiel kissing his lips, “so beautiful…”

“Yeah I heard that… ” Dean caressed Castiel’s face tenderly “the brightest soul… blah blah blah…”

“No… I love you, the hunter, the man, remember that girl?”

“Phoebe, yes…” Dean smiled at the memory.

“don’t smile like that…” growled Castiel “I want to be the only one… the only” said possessive as he smelled Dean’s skin and the hunter giggled “She’s cured, her cherub told me, about her illness and how supportive you were…”

“I just… wanted to give her the same feeling of hope you gave me, from the first day…”

“You’re so pure… so pure… ” and kissed him “I love you”

Yep, Dean could deal with that, being pure, maybe it was true, and this was pure, maybe it was a good thing, maybe he actually could live like this, finally happy, finally whole.

Pure joy filled his pure soul and tears filled his eyes as he fell asleep, no longer alone

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post the rest tomorrow


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